True Royalty

My beautiful Grammie left this world and returned to Heaven last night. Oh, how my heart aches. She is my hero. She is my best friend.

With the heartache I feel great joy in knowing that she is with my grandpa RIGHT now. I can't even imagine what pure happiness she must be experiencing. She is with Mercydez too. My heart leaps for joy at that thought.

Grammie, Adrienne, and I were the three musketeers. We have been a best-friend trio since the day Adrienne and I were born... probably in Heaven before any of us were born, come to think of it.

She is an elect lady. I've never met someone with so much faith and determination to do what's right. She stood FIRM. Nothing intimidated her. Nothing could make her question. Choosing what was right was probably just part of her very being.

I'm going to miss her. I miss her already. I'm so grateful for the life she has led. I'm so grateful that I was blessed to be a large part of her life. Adrienne and I were "her twins". I would walk in and she would say, "There's my Ashley... there's my Adrienne." Always the one to meet tribulation with dignity and a smile, she is my shining example.

Grammie, oh, how we love you. Thank you for sharing so much. Thank you for teaching us so much. Thank you for being an elect woman, a woman deserving much more than a crown of jewels. You are my Princess Grammie. You are a queen. You are true royalty.

Adrienne and I are blowing you kisses and flashing our lights to you. We will never forget you. Never.

Give Mercydez a kiss and tell her we love her.

Melancholy

I don't have much time.

I've been procrastinating. (sigh)

Yes, we are still here.


Mothers Day was beautiful, and hard. In the moment, it felt hard, but looking back on that Sunday, just over a week ago, I have realized that it was actually really, REALLY hard for me. It was wonderful to honor my own mother and mother-in-law (as well as the many women around me), but it was an empty day for me.

I'm at a point in my grief where I just block things. Yes, I'm still grieving and I will always be grieving. It's something not many understand. I appreciate those who try to understand though. I can tell when a person tries and when a person just flat-out doesn't. I don't like people who don't try. I don't have the energy to say that it's "okay" if they don't try. Selfish? Yes. Do I care? No. So, there ya have it.

I've been struggling the last while. My sweet, beautiful Grammie is really sick. In fact, today, she took a turn for the "worst" (which, by the way, really isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person). I have "blocked" the heartache, but today it has been fresh and some-what raw. I don't know how much longer we'll have her. All I know is that I love her. She is my Grammie. She is my best friend. She is my coach, my mentor, my life-guide. But, I don't blame her. She's been without my Grandpa for way too long. She and my Grandpa are madly in love. I'm sure they will both be weeping for joy when they meet again. I will be weeping too. A happy weep. And, most definitely, a sad weep.

Nic and I have been reading our scriptures together every night. It's something I look forward to. I love it. It has been a comfort. We were reading in The Book of Mormon and I came across a verse that reads as follows:

"...many shall be afflicted in the flesh, and shall not be suffered to perish, because of the prayers of the faithful;"

Hm. Did that catch you off-guard like it did me? The word "suffered" as mentioned above doesn't have the same modern-day meaning commonly used. I've pondered that a lot. There is a lot hidden in that small passage. I love the scriptures.

I'm taking a few sociology classes this semester. My mind has been moving, spinning, analyzing, pondering, and questioning quite a bit lately. This class has both helped me learn A LOT about myself and it has caused me to question a lot about myself as well. ... ... ... ... ...

Okay, back to the studies. Homework will be forever taunting me unless I stop procrastinating and JUST GET 'ER DONE.

Funny, Funny (Warning: A Little Crude)!

I'm ticked that I didn't think to hold my camera the RIGHT way when I recorded Nic coming in the finish line. Urg. Ahwell, just cock your head to the side. You'll get the same affect. See post below for some sweet pic's of our big race!

********* FUNNY STORY **********

So, Nic came through the finish line and I (of course) greeted him! He was so frozen he seriously couldn't talk at all! Ha! But, that's not the funny part. I asked him how his race went and he said, "Great! I did my best and I ran the whole way!" It sounded a bit more like, "Gray. I di ma bes an ran da who wa." So, he then goes on to tell me that his finish time would have been better BUT half way through the race his BOWELS kicked in and he had to "crap like you wouldn't believe" (cra lie yoo woh-nt beleevv). So, he tried to keep going and he "squeezed his cheeks like he's never squeezed before. HARD!" He said a prayer that he would find somewhere appropriate to "let it go" or else he was gonna let it go in his (very nice) running shorts (which, according to Ash, happens all the time. I wonder how she knows this??? ;)) So, he's running the Provo-River trail and, wa-lah! There was a park bathroom facility. Nic "ran in and made sure it was empty of occupiers. If anyone had been in there [he] would have kicked them out. [He] pulled down the shorts and pushed harder than ever before. And, it was like Niagara Falls!"

Not only is that HILARIOUS but, you should have heard him tell me! His mouth and tongue were so frozen he couldn't enunciate AND he couldn't smile or laugh with me! So funny!

So, note to self, go potty (and PUSH) before you run a half-marathon. I think he's learned his lesson.

PS Besides this whole experience, the only other "bad" experience was that his nipples HURT. I told him that he can now have some sympathy for us women when we breastfeed or pump. TMI? Maybe, yeah.

Check!!!

Today was my first-ever 5K and Nic's first-ever Half-Marathon!!! Check that off our bucket list! It felt so good! I am starting to really enjoy running. It's becoming very therapeutic. I'm so happy because I ran the whole race. That was my own personal goal. I've been training for a long time and I'm so happy with myself.

Adrienne, Me (yes, we are identical twins), Nic, Ashley (the original Ashley Haws :), Lindsay, and my awesome mom, LeAnn. Nic and Ashley (his sis) did the half-marathon. The rest of us did the 5K. It was great! In the words of my mom, "I can see why this is so addicting! I want to do another one!"



The half-marathon-ers RIGHT before their race began! They were both nervous, but they did AWESOME! I'm so proud of Nic and Ashley (the original).

And off they go!

Mom, Adrienne, Me, and Lindsay after the race. I took them home after our race and then went back to wait for Nic and Ash to finish their half-marathon. By-the-way, it RAIN, SNOWED, and HAILED. It was FREEZING (literally, it was). We were FROZEN. But, hey, we did it! And, we did it together!

Nic was SOAKING (so was the person behind the camera, a-hem). He was completely frozen head-to-toe. He couldn't smile, he couldn't talk, and he couldn't hold anything. The only thing he could do was SHIVER. He did SO good on his race. I'm so proud of him!

Ash didn't come in long after Nic. She did really well, especially considering for the last while her heart and mind hasn't been on running (wink, wink).



GOOD JOB ADRIENNE, MOM, LINDSAY, ASH, NIC AND ME! WE DID IT! WE DID IT FOR YOU MERCY! LOVE AND MISS YOU WITH ALL OUR HEARTS!