Great Sorrow

I belong to this wonderful heart group. It's a group of love. It's a group of support. And, although most of us have never met face to face, we are family. So, it's difficult when you hear a "sister family" who is going through a great deal of pain.

My heart is hurting so badly right now. I'm so sorry. It feels so wrong to have a little one struggle so greatly. It feels so wrong to know that nothing more can be done. Why can't more be done? It's so hard. This world, it's so hard. Although there is great joy, there is also great heartache and sorrow. I've come to understand that sorrow is more then just sadness. It's deeper. It's consuming. That is how I'm feeling. I'm feeling it for sweet Gracie. I'm sorry for her family. I'm sorry for her. I wish I could do something for them... but prayers and long-distance love is all I have to give.

It's moments like this that bring my feet back to the ground. One day, it will be my turn. Back in October, I thought it was. But, my sweet little girl miraculously pulled through. It seems like that was so long ago. It seems like that wasn't real... like it never will be real.

Walking hand in hand with life and death truly is a different world. I have learned that life isn't about the next pair of shoes, or the nicer home, or the higher paying job. Life isn't about the most expensive outfit or luxury cars. Life is about family. Life is about love. Life is about serving those in need. Truly, it is.

I am grateful for the truth. I'm grateful for eternal families. I'm grateful to know that, even when it's my turn to say goodbye for a season, it isn't the end. I will have my baby again. Gracie will have her parents again too. I'm so grateful for that.

And so, as this night passes as we are all sleeping, I pray for those who will be awake, holding their sweet baby, and saying goodbye for this season. God be with you.

Princess

Yup, no doubt in my mind. This girl is royalty!

Boys Will Be Boys

I'm not going to lie to you, this is most definitely NOT for you if you aren't into disgusting things... especially the second video... I can't even watch it all the way through. It makes me gag.

The story? My awesome niece, Sam, had her sweet sixteen birthday bash last night. We were the last there, along with my brother and my brother-in-law... and a few others. Anyway, they decided to be boys and take on some ridiculous challenges. My brother Kacey (always the crazy party boy) decided that he could do the gallon-of-milk-in-an-hour challenge, thus the results of the second video (thanks Sam, for your priceless and too detailed cam cording). My bro-in-law, Kirt, and my cute hubby tried the whole eat-six-saltine-crackers-in-a-minute challenge.

Although the three boys failed,a great time was had by all.

Watch videos at your own risk. I am not responsible for what happens to you, or your stomach, for watching.

Hahahahahaha (yes, there are six of 'em)

Here are the rules:
1) Post rules on your blog
2) Answer the six '8' items
3) Let each person know by leaving them a comment.

8 favorite TV shows:
1. So You Think You Can Dance, Dance, Dance
2. Rachael Ray
3. The Today Show
4. 2News This Morning
5. American Idol
6. Anything having to do with Hollywood Gossip (my guilty pleasure)
7. Everybody Loves Raymond
8. Oprah, although she’s really starting to annoy me.

8 Things I did yesterday:
1. Exercised
2. Fed Mercydez
3. Bathed Mercydez
4. Took Mercy to her cousins birthday party
5. Read my scriptures
6. Cried
7. Hugged my hubby and (again) realized how much I love him
8. Ate a bunch of pancakes with a bunch of people I don’t know, in my kitchen.

8 Things I'm looking forward to:
1. Nic graduating
2. Taking Mercy to the park, on walks, and to the library… when the weather is better
3. Spring!
4. Having more children
5. Completing my education
6. Being with my family and friends for all eternity
7. General Conference
8. Vacations with the fam

8 favorite restaurants:
1. El Azteca
2. Flemings
3. Ruby River
4. The Roof
5. Subzero icecream
6. Jamba Juice
7. Kneaders
8. Nothing is as good as homemade cookin’!

8 Things on my wish list:
1. That Mercy wouldn’t have to endure so much
2. To go on a very nice vacation once a year with my hubby.
3. To go on another very nice vacation once a year with all my fam
4. That children and elderly didn’t have to suffer. Well, that pain and sickness would be GONE.
5. That everyone would recognize and accept truth
6. That the evils of the world would forever disappear.
7. Nic could be completely finished with school.
8. Nic and I to serve lots and lots of missions.

8 people I tag:
1. Adrienne Braun
2. Pinky Homer
3. Sheila Nielson
4. Wanda Adams
5. Andrea Peery
6. Donna Tolman
7. Gayle Johnson
8. Jenni King

Be Mine!

Although this comes a bit late, I want to hold on to this memory. Valentines Day this year was so much better than last year. Last year I was so sad, so upset because I wanted my baby home with me so we could make cookies for Daddy. It was very difficult because we visited her in the hospital (where Nic gave her her first Valentine... an adorable little Elmo). And we had to leave her there. I'm so grateful we aren't re-living that. It was so hard.

This Valentines Day was spent with family. We made cute little hearts to hang throughout the house. Nic gave me some beautiful flowers and Mercy and I gave Nic some "Gourmet" Cupcakes! We decided to keep it simple. Sometimes less is more!

Nic had to work Valentines Night, so I got to have a beautiful candlelight dinner with my parents, Adrienne and Travis, Kacey and Crystal, Eric and Kerri, and my date, Mercydez and my Grandma. It was beautiful, and it was yummy!

Right infront of one of my hero's!

So, last Thursday, Sister Julie Beck came to speak to our Stake. Sister Beck is the General Relief Society President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I love her stand on women and especially on MOTHERHOOD. She stands as a wonderful example of boldness, of love, and service. I don't know entirely why I love her so much. It just seems that each time she speaks, she touches my heart and helps me find my inner strength. She helps me strive to be a better woman, a better wife, a better mother.

So, I went TWO HOURS EARLY to the chapel where she was to speak. My SIL, Crystal, came with me. We got the second row, DEAD CENTER!!!! She was RIGHT in front of me when she spoke. I LOVED IT! I even got the chance to ask her a question in front of the congregation. It was a neat experience. I just love seeing women who hold high positions of leadership, who are not afraid to be WOMEN, and who are so full of charity. It's so inspiring.

I took the picture above as we were leaving. We were asked to NOT take pictures, but I couldn't help it! I know, I know. I'm just waiting to be struck by lightening. No, honestly, I bet Heavenly Father is okay with it. I'm sure He got a good chuckle out of my craziness. :) I was, however, chastised by the sweet sister wearing the black and white polk-a-dot-ish print (you can see her in the pic above). Yes, yes. Even I have room for improvement. Surprise, surprise. ;)

PS Sister Beck is the lady between the two ladies in black dress coats. Sister Beck is wearing the blue jacket.

PSS So, after re-reading my post, I want everyone to know I'm not some crazy stalker freak-o. I'm really not. This was just a really exciting experience for me... a much needed boost. :)

Mercy gets her first invite!

Yesterday was cute little Benny-Boo's birthday! He's the big FIVE!!! I can't believe it! Where did the time go? He was born right before Nic purposed to me. Ben looked so cute at our wedding... he was just this tiny li'l guy in the cutest tux! I can't believe he's already five. Wow!

We were so excited to go to his birthday party yesterday! It's the first birthday party our little Mercydez has been invited to, so OF COURSE we HAD to go. So, I proceeded in getting her ready. Well, things were going so smoothly. Of course, because everything was going so well, SOMETHING had to happen, right? Well, something did happen! 45 minutes before we were supposed to be up there, Mercydez sneezed causing her formula to spill all over her cute little outfit and her newly washed face and hair! I was so distraught! I cried! It doesn't sound like a big deal when typing or reading it... but, I just broke down. Mercydez was great though. She didn't get upset at all. She just lay there, all calm, waiting for Mommy to clean her up. I chuckle thinking about how cute she is.

Can I just say, I have the most wonderful husband in all the world? He came home to a crazy, upset, crying wife and he was so good. I was so frustrated! But, Nic just hugged me and told me he loved me. I'm so blessed.

We made it to the party right as it ended... but HEY! WE MADE IT! That was a great accomplishment.

Happy fifth birthday my little Benny Boo! We love you sooooo much!