Bitter or Better? When all is said and done, we ultimately have two choices in life. Through our experiences, trials, heartaches, losses, sorrows…will we become bitter or better?
Our precious Mercydez passed away this morning. Her spirit was released while in the arms of her incredible mother and amazing father. While it was hard, it was beautiful. Our sweet Mercydez has finished her mission on earth. She is worthy to be in the presence of our loving Heavenly Father and our brother, Jesus Christ. We know she will be welcomed with many family members and friends who have passed on. What a great celebration it will be for her!
People like Mercydez become better. Bitterness is never in their hearts or their lives. People like Mercydez hold fast to what they know to be true, the knowledge that there is a God. This God is real and all loving. He is as much a part of the big experiences in life as He is in the small details. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what we are able to endure. He knows what we need to experience to become worthy to enter His kingdom, to be in His presence. We need to be molded and shaped. This isn’t done as a punishment; it is done as a gift to us as individuals. How can we become like Him, if we can’t endure and become better? He wants us…He loves us.
How grateful I am that Heavenly Father found us worthy to have an Angel in our midst. This Angel endured every one of her trials. She endured well. Her body was perfect. Her spirit is perfect.
We will honor our sweet baby. We will honor her by living the way she lived. Although this will be a long road, we will walk it with dignity, love, kindness, honesty, patience, and faith. We know there will be moments of deep sorrow and loss. We will allow ourselves to feel while keeping our eye on the big picture. We will become better not bitter.
THERE IS LIFE AFTER DEATH. WE WILL HAVE HER AGAIN. FAMILIES ARE ETERNAL. NIC AND ASH WILL HAVE THE GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO RAISE MERCYDEZ IN THE LIFE HEREAFTER. MERCYDEZ IS STILL ALIVE, IN SPIRIT.
Mercydez, we love you. While our hearts are aching…shattering, we rejoice in your freedom. We rejoice in the knowledge that you are ours forever. Death is not the end, it’s the beginning. We rejoice in the amazing life you lived. We rejoice in you, sweet princess. Oh, how we miss you…
58 comments:
Ashley and Nic,
I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad Mercy is no longer in pain. It is such a hard and long road for these special ones. PLease call if you need to talk. We love you!
Melissa Andrew
Ashley and Nic,
I cannot begin to image what you must be feeling. I am saddened to hear of her passing and yet know that she has been released from her pain. Your family has been such an example to us and we are grateful for Mercydez's life.
We love you guys!
I "heart" you all and ache to be there. My eyes are still burning from sobbing... What a sweet testimony. I want to be like Mercy, and someone else I know ;), when I grow up. Thanks for having the courage to post these words.
~Caroline
We are honored to have met your beautiful, perfect angel. We are honored to know the family that she chose to go through this ordeal with. A family she knew would love her, cherish her, and place her in their arms for all enternity. Our hearts are forever with you and your daughter. She is yours forever. What a sweet memory she has left for you. What an amazing thing to look forward to, seeing her again. It might not bring you much peace now, but you will be with her again. We love all of you. We really do. We are forever touched by this amazing princess, and her wonderful, big hearted family. With love, Stacy, Chance, and our kissed for Mercydez son Corbin.
There are no words that are perfect for this moment. I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain you must be feeling right now. I am so grateful for the sweet realease of any pain little Mercy was feeling. The Lord has healed her, what a wonderful blessing. I hope and pray that the spirit will guide you and nic (and the family around you) through this healing process. You guys are amazing and so is the example of Mercy. All my love, Liza
What a blessing it was to have such a valient spirit of God in your home. There was never a time of being in her presence that I didn't feel the spirit. Thank you for openingly sharing her. She and your family have touched my heart in more ways than you will ever know.
I have always believed that God doesn't make mistakes in trusting us with his choicest spirits. I also believe that though she she was welcomed home by many family that were waiting for her return, she was also welcomed by many of us that already have angles who were waiting on the sidelines to love her because they knew of our great love for her and your family.
From previous experience these next days will become a blur but I want you to know we are here for you and will do whatever necessary to lift you up and let you know you are loved by so many.
(HUGS)
Carolyn Quigley
It is truly amazing how you grow to love these little spirits that you don't even know...and you are right, us, as members of IHH are family and we love each other and are there to build each other up. My heart hurts right now, watching so many sweet spirits pass on, Gracie, Avery and now Mercydz...the only thing that keeps me going as I watch the grief and feel the pain is that knowing God loves us so much and knows best. Those sweet angels are no longer in pain but walking in Heaven with our Father and his Son. What a blessing it is to know what we know! OUr prayers are with you that the comforter will be with you always and it won't be too much longer that all our families will be reunited! We are here to support you in anyway!
I'm so sorry Ashley & Nic. We're thinking out you and praying for you! You're amazing!
Ashley and Nic,
I am so sorry for your loss. This is so hard. You guys are such a great example of strength and courage. Your testimonies shine through this blog,and I am blessed to be strengthened by them. Thank you for sharing your sweet little girl with me. I never had a chance to meet Mercy, but I feel her spirit through her cute pictures and the wonderful words you write. I am happy she is no longer in pain. But my heart aches for you. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Teea Lamb
I am so sorry. Thank goodness for the knowledge of the Gospel so you know that you will be with your precious angel again one day. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you right now.
I very sorry for your loss, but I think you have a great attitude and understanding that will allow you to learn from these tough experiences. I believe certain things happen for a reason and that you have to figure out that reason. I hope I haven't said too much. I know you will be strong. My thoughts are with you.
Ashley and Nic,
My heart is just broken for your loss. Mercydez was truly an angel here on earth, and it was an honor to know her here. Your strength and testimony are amazing and I hope that your knowledge of forever families can help you through the upcoming days, weeks, months and years. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do, or if you need someone to talk to. I love you guys and you will continue to be in my prayers.
Love,
Hollie, Ben and Elaina
I happened upon your blog soon after your precious daughter was born and have followed your journey from afar - a true stranger, led to your story. The most overwhelming feeling I have is awe for the dignity and respect you have shown your baby-girl. If ever there was a story of 'rising to the occasion' it is yours. I am privileged to honor her by keeping you all in my prayers. You will feel the loving arms of our Heavenly Father in every way. Your grace continues to bless me.
So sorry to hear about sweet Mercy...she is such a miracle baby and I have enjoyed reading your blog and reading all about her and seeing her sweet photos. Praying for you that you will have the comfort you need at this hard time.
With love,
Jenny Gunnell (friend of Alicia Braun Smith)
What a wonderful post to celebrate the life of Mercydez! We are so sorry for your loss. Please know that we are thinking of you and praying for you!
We ache for you and your loss. Tears stream down my face, and yet I am inspired and encouraged myself as I read your words. What a wonderful perspective you shared in your last post. May the Spirit of the Lord continue to be with you and comfort you. How wonderful to have such a strong spirit angel to watch over and help your family.
I am so sorry. I am just so sorry. I have tears streaming down my face because although I know Mercydez is at peace, my heart aches for you. We will be there, wherever and whenever. We love you guys and wish we could hug you right now. I wish no one had to experience the pains of losing a child. I am just so sorry. There will be extra prayers. She is just so beautiful.
All our love and prayers,
Emily and Mike
Nic and Ashley,
We are deeply saddened for your temporary loss. I am so honored to have been able to come out to Provo and witness such a beautiful blessing entrusted to you guys from our Heavenly Father. Although our tears flow right now, we are so happy for you to be able to raise "your" Mercydez in the Celestial Kingdom. Please know that our prayers are with you and I KNOW that our Savior, as well as our Heavenly Father are embracing you both right now. Please call upon us and let us serve you if there is ANYTHING that we can do for you during this time as well as ever. We are so blessed to be able to say you are our friends.
Love,
Ed and Carol Smith
856-678-6457
Our hearts and prayers are with you. We pray for peace despite the sorrow. Your examples have touched many.
I am so deeply saddened by your loss. May happy memories and hope and faith comfort you during this trial. Your perspective on Mercy's life warms my heart.
I happened upon your blog via Alice's. My daughter, Vivian, also has CHARGE syndrome. My hope is that you can feel the love of others' and that it helps buoy you up as you walk this difficult part of your journey.
With love, Hannah and Vince and Vivian (19 months)
Ashley and Nic~
We just want you to know that you are in our thoughts and our prayers.
With much love,
The Jardine family
Dear Ashley and Nic,
My heart aches for you and my tears are flowing. Thank you for your constant example and testimony of COMPLETE faith. Even though I was never able to have the privelige of holding sweet little Mercy in my arms, I have felt her Spirit as I have followed your family story. Thank you for being so willing to share. My life has been touched forever!! I KNOW that the Comforter is real and what an Amazing blessing you have to look forward to raising her in the next life. She is no longer in pain but rejoicing in our Heavenly Father's Plan. She has "fought a good fight!" How blessed we are to have the Gospel and to know that she is literally in the arms of our loving Heavenly Father!!!
Families Are Forever!!
We Love You Guys!
We are so sorry for your loss. This has been such a rough week for so many. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you two.
Love,
Alli and Kyle Hicken (IHH)
Words cannot express how sorry we are about the passing of Mercydez. Her life hear on earth was the greatest example of the kind of special spirit that touched many lives. She is truly a gift that has taught many of us about how to love and embrace one another. I can only imagine her return to heavenly father's open arms, and how sweet their reunion will be. We love you guys!
With Thoughts and Prayers,
Mike & Rebecca Patton
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad your little angel is not longer suffering through pain and illness. I know that you don't know me, but my heart is aching for you and what you're going through. You and your angel are in my thoughts and prayers at this very difficult time. God Bless You.
Kayla Nielsen
Oh, I was so, SO sad to read your post today. I was expecting to hear that she pulled through.
Little Mercydez has touched my life and I will never forget her. I'm sure that she is looking down at you both right now with overwhelming love. You are both an amazing example of what parents should be.
I'm so, so sorry for your pain.
Hugs,
Kristine & Katie
Nic and Ashley,
We love you. We loved Mercydez and will miss her very much! Our hearts are with you on this bitter, sweet day. She will be missed, but I know that she is also being welcomed home at this time by a loving Heavenly Father and Savior. She was so brave and courageous on her mission on earth-she gets that from you two. Our prayers and our thoughts are with you. We love you! Please let me know how I can help.
Love,
Andrea
Nic & Ashley -
We are so sorry for your loss. Mercy is such an amazing spirit and has taught us so much about love, patience, endurance and faith. Your story has touched me is so many ways. Your unwavering faith has truly blessed us. May you have peace at this time and know that you are loved. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love
The Snyders
Oh guys, I am so shocked and sad. I hope you feel your sweet Mercy ever near.
Ashley and Nic,
I am truly sorry for your loss! You guys are so strong and I truly admire that about you, even though I know we haven't met. THank you for sharing your beautiful daughter and your amazing story of faith and hope! Your Mercydez is truly an angel! Our thoughts and paryers are with you and your family!
Nic & Ashley,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Reading this post truly broke my heart. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are feeling right now… Please know I am thinking of you and praying for you and your families. Your testimonies are amazing and I have truly been strengthened by your faith during this trial. I am certain Mercydez is in the arms of our loving Heavenly Father and that you will be able to be with her again.
Love,
Deedra
nic and ash,
i want to let you know that i am so amazed with the strength and faith you have. you guys are so valiant and little mecydez was and is a beautiful angel. i was so blessed to have met her if even for a little bit. your family touched many hearts. please please let me know if there is anything i can do for you, i would be more than pleased to serve you. i would also appreciate it if you let me know when the funeral services, i would love to attend. i love you guys so much, my love and prayers are with you. brisa brisa_fullmer@yahoo.com or you can reach me at 801-368-5218
Nic & Ashley,
I cried when I heard the news in Sacrament meeting today. I know you guys are strong enough to get through this and I know that Mercydez was meant to be here and to be a strength for your family. I am so grateful for the time you all had here on Earth with her and I'm sure she will be extremely busy in Heaven doing very important work while she waits for her wonderful family. Know that Clint and I are thinking of you and your family are in our prayers. Please please call me if you need anything. You were so good to be there for me and I want to do the same!
Audrey
Nic and Ashley,
We are all blessed to have known Mercydez.. even if only through your blog. She is a valiant spirit who blessed us with her beauty and strength for almost 15 months.
My heart is sad for you. Even though families are eternal and you will be with her soon, it doesn't feel the void of having her in your arms.
We love you Mercy!!! We'll be saying many prayers for your mommy and daddy! Angel Kisses.
Thank you for all of the posts you have posted about sweet Mercydez. While I never met her in person (honestly it seems like someone is always sick over here!) I feel I knew her through what you wrote about her and could feel the love you have for her and she has for you. I admire you and Nic so, so, so much. You are the strongest mother I know and I know you will be an even stronger one in the next life when you get to be with her again because of what you have been through together. The gratitude and love she must feel for you right now for all you have done for her during her short time here...I can't even imagine. And the amount of love you and your family are feeling for her...is there a better way to measure a life? Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
I am sorry. What a blessing she has been touching so many lives. Although you will get to be with her again, the ache of missing her must be difficult. You guys are such a great example to me of loving parents!
Love, Hugs & Prayers,
Christina
Jacob's Momma
Ashley & Nic,
I have been at a loss for words, I can say I'm sorry over and over a thousand times, but it just doesn't cut it for me. What a sweet Little Girl that touched the lives of many, many people with her sweet innocent spirit - along with you two and your faith and courage you've shown. Ashley your words never cease to amaze me, you have been such an example to me and am so grateful for Mercydez. I am so glad that I was able to come meet you, Nic & Mercydez. Really, what an Honor. What a blessing it is to have the knowledge of the gospel and to know of the plan of salvation. Families Are Forever!!!
Good night Sweet Mercydez.
We love you!!
Nic and Ashley,
I have been thinking about you and praying for you ever since I heard the news of Mercydez's passing. I'm so sorry for your loss! She is such a precious little girl and I'm so glad for the opportunity we had to meet her. You two are amazing examples of strength and faith to me! I pray that you and your families will feel the savior's comfort with you and that you will know that Mercy is in a better place and no longer suffering.
Dustin and Jenn
I just wanted to send you guys a note and tell you how sorry I am. This is definitely not an easy time, but I hope that you can find comfort.. What a sweet little angel she is. Know that I am thinking of you and your family. I know I don't know you personally, but I have seen the strength you have shown over the year. Thank you for you example. Please let me know if you ever need ANYTHING!!!
Love, Marcae
(Mommy to Kate)
Ashley I am so so so sorry. My prayers are with you. May you have strength and comfort and your burdens be lightened.
Love,
Jessica Munk
I am so sorry to hear of Mercy's passing. I know she is happy and free from all her pain now. My heart is sad for you because you will miss her so much! You guys are great parents and you did an amazing job with her. I hope you will have comfort and peace in the days to come.
Oh, Ash & Nic...George and I and the girls just got home late, and I was checking your blog. I just gasped when I read about Mercydez. I am so sorry.... Even though we knew what could happen, it still just breaks my heart. That little bug just defied the odds so many times. I just left a message for Michelle, and phoned Jenny. I don't even know what to say.... The girls just got out of bed, so George and I told them. Rachel said, "Mom--I know what you need to write...that we are sorry she died, that we so miss her, and we love her.....I really, really miss her". I am so very, very sorry. I am sitting here, just bawling. I wish there was something I could do to make the days ahead a little easier for you. Your faith has always been, and will always be, a source of great comfort and strength. You are surrounded by the love and affection of so many friends and family--lean on them. Please know that you (and your families) are on my mind, in my heart, and I am holding you close. If there is anything (and I mean anything) that I can do to help you in any way, please do not hesitate to let me know. Your little angelbaby blessed so many lives... Mercydez brought us Heaven here on Earth, and is surely an Angel watching over us now.
I love you,
Christy
Mercydez defintely pickes you, the most amazing parents and people I have met to be her loving parents. She is so proud of the way you loved her and took care of her and spread her message of "princessness"! My heart and prayers are with you today, as always.
Much Love,
Tami
Thatchers mom
Ashley and Nic,
We are heart broken to hear of the passing of your beautiful daughter. Your family is such an example of Faith, Love and Strength. Thank you for sharing your sweet angel with all of us, the sweet stories you shared always touched our hearts.
The Feinauer Family
IHH
Ashley and Nic,
You have taught so many of us about faith, endurance, strength and eternal love. You will be in our thoughts and prayers. Thanks for sharing your miracle with us.
The Cleggs
Ashley and Nic,
I am so sorry for your loss. I never was able to meet your sweet daughter. Just by reading your blog I can tell that she has a very special spirit.
I was always asking my brother Chad how your family was doing.
I am inspired by how strong your faith is. I am inspired by how strong your relationship as a couple is.
I am glad that you have the knowledge that Families are Forever.
Ashley, Nic and Family,
My heart aches for your temporary separation from sweet Mercy. I have this mental picture of her running into Christ's arms -- what an amazing sight. I have watched for the past year as you have tenderly cared for every earthly need, not only for Mercy but for others around you. Please let others care for you for a while. When you need to yell, scream, cry, eat oodles of chocolate I'm just a phone call away. Know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of many.
Much love,
Angela
Sydney's Momma
OH, I heard the news from Audrey this morning. I haven't checked in this week and I'm so sorry to learn of your very very difficult week. Mercy is your perfect angel and I pray that her spirit will be able to be with you often as you continue on with your journey. This is a song that I listen to often for my Dex.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_N_N_j0d7o
We'll be praying for you. You are amazing parents and Mercy is so blessed to have you. Thank you for sharing your story and the beauty and blessing of Mercy's life.
We are so sorry to hear of this painful time for you. We know how intensely you love her and pray that the Lord will give you that tender mercy of feeling her near often. Your family is in our prayers.
The Jarrett Family (your old BYU 75th ward)
I just found your blog through Caroline's.
My heart and prayers go out to you. It is amazing to catch a small glimpse of what people endure. Your patience, endurance, and faith is commendable, even exemplary.
I know we haven't kept up well, and it is ironic to find your blog amidst such tragedy, but please know my most sincere feelings go out to you, and I am there for you if ever you need anything.
Love,
Kira Ludwig
Ashley and Nic, We are so sorry for your loss and we will keep your family in our prayers that you will have the strength to get through the next couple days, weeks, and months. While your daughter is no longer in pain and surrounded with love we want you to know that you are not alone nor will be forgotten. May Heavenly Father wrap you in his arms with love. Romans family
I have been following your blog ever since I read your story in the newspaper. We have never met, but I wanted to express to you my sadness at the passing of your sweet princess. I too have a sweet princess and I can't even begin to imagine the depths of your pain. Reading your blog has helped me to not take small moments for granted and to appreciate every one of those moments with my children. It has also helped me to stop worrying about unimportant day to day matters. I can't help but think about the Conference talk by Elder Wirthlin entitled, "Come what may & Love It". He says, "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." Mercy was so lucky to have you as parents, parents who saw the bigger picture and made wise choices reagarding her care. May she comfort you as a sweet angel.
Ashley and Nic,
I was at Ashley's parents ward yesterday and they very respectfully let everyone know about Mercydez. I thought about all of the things that I could bring over or say to bring you comfort and everything seemed insufficient. Your loss is great, uncomprehendable to me. I want you to know that I love you and that Heavenly Father loves you and knows your thoughts and feelings and your situation. Heavenly Father is loving and will bless your lives and can bring you peace. Mercydez is in Heaven, you will be reunited. And on this Earth there are literally hundreds of people who love you and are praying for you and looking out for your well being. I will continue to pray for you.
With deep sorrow,
Kyla Semken Stevens and family.
Ashley and Nic,
I am so sorry to hear the news. My heart is breaking for you. I am amazed by your strength. My thoughts will be with you.
Laura Wilson Frisby
Nic & Ashley,
We are sorry. We love you guys. You are in our prayers.
Love,
Kevin & Catherine
So sorry to hear your news. We will keep your family in our prayers. Love, John and Barbara Catron
Ashley & Nic--You don't know me...I was Adrienne's English teacher and came to know of your precious baby through her. She has such a love for Mercy and for each of you...I saw and felt a tremendous spirit of familial love as I grew to know Adrienne and felt her commitment and love for family, for music, for life. May the sweet spirit of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, abide with you in this time of trial.
Thanks for your amazing faith. We love you all sooo much. You're the greatest examples of Christ and I am thankful for you in our lives.
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