Everyone Deserves Love

I am in awe at how horrible people can be. It seems like we all, sometimes, forget the fact that those around us are living, breathing, FEELING creatures.

A person who has endured difficulty... in anyway, never deserves to be mocked for it. And yet, they almost always are.

Why can't we all just defend and protect the weak? Why can't we just love those who NEED LOVE? Why does it always have to be this game of mockery and heartache... "let's see who can make this person cry hardest!!!"? I'm awed, completely. Whether these experiences happen face-to-face, or behind a persons back, it's completely wrong.

No, I'm not the one who was mocked. I was a spectator. I didn't see what happened, but I heard about it... from the "mocker" himself. I'm trying to figure out how to approach the situation. I don't know what to say... how to correct the wrong. But, I know deep down, I have to say or do something.

How about we all set a goal to just cheer each other on! We don't have to compete... we don't have to know who is stronger, who is smarter, who is more capable... let's just love everyone, encourage them to do their best, and then salute them.

Dear Mercydez

Dear Mercydez,

You have inspired Mommy and Daddy. We want to reach out to others, because of you. We want to make a difference in the world, because of you.

Today, we start school. We are starting over: clean, fresh. You have inspired us to return. Will you check in on us from time to time? Will you let us know when you are close by?

We miss you. We want you to know we aren't going back to school to forget you... we are going back to school because we refuse to forget you. We will forever remember you. You are our inspiration to be better, to face each day head-on.

Little Mercy, we want you to know that Mommy and Daddy are doing well. We are surrounded by those who truly care. Their love has carried us. We are finding joy in each day, even the hard days. We are looking for opportunities to laugh, to smile, to serve. We do this, because we know this is what you would want us to do. We know this is how you faced every day. You were a warrior here on earth. We want to be like you....

So, our sweet, silly little angel, know that we love you. And, as we return to school and life gets back to being hectic, know that we never forget to remember.

Love,
Daddy and Mommy

You're Invited

Our Heart Group is having their SECOND ANNUAL Heart walk! You're invited to come!!! We would LOVE to see you there. And let me tell you, there is nothing as moving as seeing these families all together for such a worthy cause: to support and love those enduring life with heart defects and also supporting and loving those who have lost those who fought valiantly.

Here's the info:
When: Saturday, September 12th, 2009
Time:Check-in at 8:00am, walk begins at 9:30am
Where: Riverview Park in Provo, Utah (by the Wynnsong Movie Theater and the Riverbottom shops)
Cost: EARLY REGISTRATION IS $10.00 per individual or $50.00 for immediate family. DAY-OF REGISTRATION IS $20.00 per individual or $80.00 for immediate family. THIS INCLUDES A T-SHIRT!

You can register online or by printing off a form and mailing it in... but you HAVE TO DO IT BY THIS WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 26TH. You'll need to fill out a form for EACH person attending the Heart Walk!

Hope to see you there!

Click here for pics from last year!!!

PS School starts on Wednesday and I'm soooo nervous... and excited, but sooo nervous!

PSS The picture above is from one year ago yesterday and today... Our hearts and our gratitude go out to those who so willingly helped us in so many ways. We know our little angel is in Heaven and we are sure she checks in on you from time to time. She knows you, and she knows what you sacrificed on her, and our, behalf.

WILD AND CRAZY!

This past Friday night Nic and I decided to go on a date! So, we thought it'd be fun to go to the dollar theater (oh yeah, we're the expensive type). So, we get there and the line is FOREVER long. We decided to drop it and just go to redbox (again, we're the expensive type).

As we were driving away from the dollar theater, I was starting to get depressed. I want our marriage to be fun, EXCITING, spontanious and crazy!!! And, at that very moment, it wasn't. So, I look at Nic and I say, "I want to have FUN, Sweetie. I want us to do fun and wild things!"

Just as I say that, we miss the turn for Redbox. I was driving and was irritated that I missed the turn. So, Nic tells me to hurry and get in the turn lane. Which I do... and then I promptly do a U-Turn. To which Nic says...

"Wahhooooo! See Sweetie!! We're still wild and crazy!!!"

Oh, I feel so much better.

Kinda Scary... BUT!

I started my new job today... and, all things considered, I think I'm going to LOVE IT!!! Woot! Woot!

Thoughts from Deep Down

Perhaps my last post was a little.... hmmm, some might say "ignorant" or "bold". Let me clarify.

I've had a lot on my mind lately. And, to try to put into words what I FEEL is never a true success. It's very difficult to articulate my feelings.

So, for the sake of clarification, I wanted to add a little bit.

I'm tired of the current culture leaning toward the idea that giving less than 100% in EVERYTHING is okay. I have had enough of it. I'm so tired of the commitments, and then to have things fall short... not because it was unavoidable, but because of laziness.

I'm tired of this attitude when it comes to working people... especially those who are employed, BY CHOICE, in the life-and-death scenarios. I get that we all have bad days... but CONSISTENTLY having bad days is a very stupid excuse for laziness.

Nic and I saw it too often while Mercydez was in the hospital. Doctors, nurses, therapists, WHOEVER, there simply for the paycheck. I know, I know. Bills have to be paid. BUT, if you are there simply for a paycheck, DO YOU HAVE TO GO INTO A FIELD WHERE CARE AND COMPASSION ARE REQUIRED??? Please don't. Just spare those who are enduring indescribable hardship. Choose a career that deals with computers, food, anything. Just, don't put our children, our spouses, our FAMILIES at risk because you want to be rich. SPARE ME.

This is why I want to be a nurse. Because I've experienced good nurses and I've definitely experienced BAD nurses. Nurses who had "great levels of education", who quite frankly, are dumber than a box of rocks. I am determined to be the best, because I KNOW what it means, first hand. I'm grateful to Emilee, Josette, Moira, Jennifer, Deidra... and many more. I'm grateful they CHOOSE to give more than 100%. I want to be like them.

Now, on to my other "bold" statements... Should a Mother have an education? I think if it's possible, then yes. Of course! But, let me tell you, I stand firm for Mothers. I stand FOR them. It seems like Motherhood and being a GOOD WIFE are mocked. Let me tell you something... I worked for over 8 years with a company full of many great people. I've been there, done that. I've been working on my education. No, I'm not a graduate, but I'm trying.

But, through all these "successes", I have never felt more successful, or more happy, then when I have been a mother. I have never been happier. Nic is my forever Love and I'm so grateful for him. He has given me all of my dreams. He has stood by me, he has lifted me, he has held me up when I haven't been strong enough to stand on my own. He is my hero and I love him with ALL of my heart. I have never been happier then when he and I, together, stood by our angel girl. Our teamwork of husband and wife, daddy and mommy, have brought me more joy then a bunch of classes and a certificate of "achievement" ever could. This is my vision. This is who I love being.

Loosing my little girl has been so emotional, so difficult for me. I know I'm a forever Mommy. I know families are eternal. But, I signed up to be a mommy NOW, here on this earth. I signed up to raise a beautiful daughter. This is who I want to be. I'm excited to go to school, but my heart aches to be a mommy.

And I'm not saying that my idea of "success" should be the same for everyone. I'm just saying, this is who I am. And I'm so grateful.

I am so in love with my husband. Nic is "number one in my parade". I look forward to the day when our little family will grow. I look forward to the day when I will, again, be a mommy on this earth. I look forward to the day when strangers around me will look at me and know I'm a mommy. I just miss my girl. I miss Nic and I sitting on the couch, reading a book to Mercydez, doing sign language to communicate with her, kissing her neck and cheeks.

I am grateful I am a wife and mother. To me, there is no greater success.