You're Invited

Our Heart Group is having their SECOND ANNUAL Heart walk! You're invited to come!!! We would LOVE to see you there. And let me tell you, there is nothing as moving as seeing these families all together for such a worthy cause: to support and love those enduring life with heart defects and also supporting and loving those who have lost those who fought valiantly.

Here's the info:
When: Saturday, September 12th, 2009
Time:Check-in at 8:00am, walk begins at 9:30am
Where: Riverview Park in Provo, Utah (by the Wynnsong Movie Theater and the Riverbottom shops)
Cost: EARLY REGISTRATION IS $10.00 per individual or $50.00 for immediate family. DAY-OF REGISTRATION IS $20.00 per individual or $80.00 for immediate family. THIS INCLUDES A T-SHIRT!

You can register online or by printing off a form and mailing it in... but you HAVE TO DO IT BY THIS WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 26TH. You'll need to fill out a form for EACH person attending the Heart Walk!

Hope to see you there!

Click here for pics from last year!!!

PS School starts on Wednesday and I'm soooo nervous... and excited, but sooo nervous!

PSS The picture above is from one year ago yesterday and today... Our hearts and our gratitude go out to those who so willingly helped us in so many ways. We know our little angel is in Heaven and we are sure she checks in on you from time to time. She knows you, and she knows what you sacrificed on her, and our, behalf.

WILD AND CRAZY!

This past Friday night Nic and I decided to go on a date! So, we thought it'd be fun to go to the dollar theater (oh yeah, we're the expensive type). So, we get there and the line is FOREVER long. We decided to drop it and just go to redbox (again, we're the expensive type).

As we were driving away from the dollar theater, I was starting to get depressed. I want our marriage to be fun, EXCITING, spontanious and crazy!!! And, at that very moment, it wasn't. So, I look at Nic and I say, "I want to have FUN, Sweetie. I want us to do fun and wild things!"

Just as I say that, we miss the turn for Redbox. I was driving and was irritated that I missed the turn. So, Nic tells me to hurry and get in the turn lane. Which I do... and then I promptly do a U-Turn. To which Nic says...

"Wahhooooo! See Sweetie!! We're still wild and crazy!!!"

Oh, I feel so much better.

Kinda Scary... BUT!

I started my new job today... and, all things considered, I think I'm going to LOVE IT!!! Woot! Woot!

Thoughts from Deep Down

Perhaps my last post was a little.... hmmm, some might say "ignorant" or "bold". Let me clarify.

I've had a lot on my mind lately. And, to try to put into words what I FEEL is never a true success. It's very difficult to articulate my feelings.

So, for the sake of clarification, I wanted to add a little bit.

I'm tired of the current culture leaning toward the idea that giving less than 100% in EVERYTHING is okay. I have had enough of it. I'm so tired of the commitments, and then to have things fall short... not because it was unavoidable, but because of laziness.

I'm tired of this attitude when it comes to working people... especially those who are employed, BY CHOICE, in the life-and-death scenarios. I get that we all have bad days... but CONSISTENTLY having bad days is a very stupid excuse for laziness.

Nic and I saw it too often while Mercydez was in the hospital. Doctors, nurses, therapists, WHOEVER, there simply for the paycheck. I know, I know. Bills have to be paid. BUT, if you are there simply for a paycheck, DO YOU HAVE TO GO INTO A FIELD WHERE CARE AND COMPASSION ARE REQUIRED??? Please don't. Just spare those who are enduring indescribable hardship. Choose a career that deals with computers, food, anything. Just, don't put our children, our spouses, our FAMILIES at risk because you want to be rich. SPARE ME.

This is why I want to be a nurse. Because I've experienced good nurses and I've definitely experienced BAD nurses. Nurses who had "great levels of education", who quite frankly, are dumber than a box of rocks. I am determined to be the best, because I KNOW what it means, first hand. I'm grateful to Emilee, Josette, Moira, Jennifer, Deidra... and many more. I'm grateful they CHOOSE to give more than 100%. I want to be like them.

Now, on to my other "bold" statements... Should a Mother have an education? I think if it's possible, then yes. Of course! But, let me tell you, I stand firm for Mothers. I stand FOR them. It seems like Motherhood and being a GOOD WIFE are mocked. Let me tell you something... I worked for over 8 years with a company full of many great people. I've been there, done that. I've been working on my education. No, I'm not a graduate, but I'm trying.

But, through all these "successes", I have never felt more successful, or more happy, then when I have been a mother. I have never been happier. Nic is my forever Love and I'm so grateful for him. He has given me all of my dreams. He has stood by me, he has lifted me, he has held me up when I haven't been strong enough to stand on my own. He is my hero and I love him with ALL of my heart. I have never been happier then when he and I, together, stood by our angel girl. Our teamwork of husband and wife, daddy and mommy, have brought me more joy then a bunch of classes and a certificate of "achievement" ever could. This is my vision. This is who I love being.

Loosing my little girl has been so emotional, so difficult for me. I know I'm a forever Mommy. I know families are eternal. But, I signed up to be a mommy NOW, here on this earth. I signed up to raise a beautiful daughter. This is who I want to be. I'm excited to go to school, but my heart aches to be a mommy.

And I'm not saying that my idea of "success" should be the same for everyone. I'm just saying, this is who I am. And I'm so grateful.

I am so in love with my husband. Nic is "number one in my parade". I look forward to the day when our little family will grow. I look forward to the day when I will, again, be a mommy on this earth. I look forward to the day when strangers around me will look at me and know I'm a mommy. I just miss my girl. I miss Nic and I sitting on the couch, reading a book to Mercydez, doing sign language to communicate with her, kissing her neck and cheeks.

I am grateful I am a wife and mother. To me, there is no greater success.

Motherhood

Lately, my mind has been on the more "simple" things in life... not the extravagant, turn-up-your-nose, socially acceptable things.

To me, there is nothing more beautiful than a mother. Honestly. I look at a woman who truly VALUES her calling as a mother. It seems like these women are few and far between now days. It's heart breaking that motherhood is so greatly mocked. Motherhood doesn't make you "less". It makes you "more". I am not the same person I was two-and-a-half years ago. I am better than I was.

I have made the decision to go back to school this Fall. Nic and I are so excited and we feel this is the right decision for us at this point in our lives. I'm going to be a nurse... not for the title, not for the money, not for the "arrogance" that seems to come so easily to so many fulfilling this career (let me clarify... not ALL nurses are arrogant, just the... arrogant ones. Those who know what I'm talking about understand the repetitive nature of this confusing pile of words). I'm going to be a nurse because I have a PERSONAL understanding of the importance of GOOD nurses, nurses who CARE about more than their textbook knowledge and proving how much they "know". I'm going to be a nurse who sees the personable side of people. I'm not saying it's going to be an easy thing to do... but in the words of one of the EXTREMELY FEW doctors I trust, "the moment a person in the medical field doesn't feel... doesn't cry at the loss of one of their 'patients'... who doesn't truly love those they are working with, need to quit their job and move on to something else." It's too easy to put feelings aside. It's too easy to build that wall that keeps you from connecting with another soul.

Nic and I have learned the value of those who are willing to be vulnerable and care. That is why we are both going to be nurses. We aren't going to be "just nurses". We are going to be great nurses.

However, if Heavenly Father tells me it's time to be a mommy on this earth again, I will most willingly put my schooling on hold to fulfill the amazing, magical, difficult-but-so-worth-it calling of being a mommy.

Because in my opinion, nothing is more important, nothing is more priceless, nothing is more powerful or influential than a mother. That is who I want to be, even more than a nurse. I am a mother. I always want to be a mother. I will gladly sacrifice the "things of this world", the many things which others flaunt, and I will do it because I applaud all those amazing mothers out there. Education is a blessing, it's wonderful. But, my own (humble... ehem) opinion is that a mother doesn't need to have an education to be a good mother. She needs special skills that come from the heart, from the soul. You can't learn that in any college or university, elite or not.

To you mothers, you true mothers, mothers of the heart, my applause and support is in your behalf. Thank you for loving these precious little ones.

PS One year ago this month...

PSS I'm not saying a woman should NOT get an education. I'm just saying, it's not a pre-req to be a good mother. ... ... ... just wanted to clarify.

Maybe When You Have A Bad Feeling In Your Gut... You Should Listen...

Larry, Jo, and Me. These guys are our HEROS!!! Thanks so much for rescuing us from all things bad at an airport!!!



So, Nic and I decided to go to Texas for a few days for our Anniversary! We had sooo much excitement and we just couldn't wait!!!

But... I was having Anxiety Attacks. Honestly. I'm not joking. I have never felt anything like it. It was terrifying and it consumed me. Completely. I just felt like we were going to die... the plane was going to crash... something! With some help from those who have had similar experiences, we decided to go.

I'm not making light of the Anxiety I was feeling... I now have a new understanding for those who suffer from Anxiety. But, there is some comical relief in all of this.

Please read the 13 steps below...

1. Our flight from SLC to Pheonix (where we had a layover) was delayed due to weather. We may miss our connecting flight to Austin, but we decide life is an adventure! Why not be adventurous?!?!
2. We land in Pheonix. Our connecting flight left 10 minutes ago. It's the last flight of the day to ANYWHERE in Texas. :( Luckily we have some family in the Pheonix area.
3. Our luggage is lost. We have nothing... not even our cell phone chargers and our phones are nearly dead. Yeah, we've learned from this.
4. We quickly call our relatives, Larry and Jo, who live close to the Pheonix airport and let them know what's going on. We will call back when we figure out what's going on with our luggage.
5. Two and a half hours later, luggage not found. Phones almost dead. Larry comes and yells at the dumb luggage people. Our luggage is found ten minutes later.
6. Take a swim in Larry and Jo's pool. So fun and so relieving!
7. Next morning, we are on stand by for the first flight to Houston, Texas (we were originally supposed to fly into Austin). There is room for the people listed BEFORE us... but plane fills up RIGHT AT OUR NAME. We have to wait for three hours before our booked flight to Houston.
8. Get on plane. Plane has "small problem". It will be a few minutes before take off.
9. Okay, plane has "big engine problem". Get off plane. Will be an hour.
10. 45 minutes later, GET BACK ON PLANE THAT HAD ENGINE PROBLEM WHICH HAS BEEN "FIXED". Anxiety returns.
11. Plane takes off. Breathe.
12. Hard, no... VERY HARD landing. Thought plane was going to flip over. Apparently so did everyone else. But, it didn't.
13. Get luggage, meet up with friends, get the heck outta the airport.

But, we made it.

Texas Lovin'

Since I kinda like this goofy guy, and this goofy guy kinda likes me, we decided we'd take a little trip for our five year anniversary!



So, off to Texas we went! We decided to go visit our good friends, Chad and Donna and their way cute girls, Keana and Kameha. We were in the big city of Brenham! Woot! Woot! We had fun just kickin' back and relaxing. I just have to say... I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







This is us at the house from the movie "Hope Floats". This house is soooo beautiful and it was so awesome to be there! Don't worry, we asked the owner if we could take pictures on his porch. He was very nice!



So, a great story about the next three pictures... we decided to go to SeaWorld in San Antonio. We get there and it's flippin' expensive to get in, right? So, the lady at the ticket booth tells us if we have a coca-cola or pepsi (can't remember which it was) product of any kind then we'll all get a good discount. Well, we didn't have anything... so... to the recycling garbage we went!!! And guess what?!?! Donna was the one who ended up getting the prize! We got a discount... but, still, even with the discount it was ridiculously expensive.





We, of course, HAD to feed the dolphins! They are so cute! I just wanted to pick one up and HUG IT!








Just playin' around at SeaWorld!




We stayed in San Antonio for a couple of days! I love San Antonio! It's such a fun city! We had a great time... minus the scorching heat. Ug.






We did the Riverboat Ride! It was so cool to hear about the history of San Antonio... the floods, the buildings, the roads, the river... it's all so fascinating. I really enjoyed this!




We also visited The Alamo. I loved being in the Alamo. I love history and I especially love being in a historical place and FEELING the spirit of the past there. This was a big highlight for me.



We visited Lake Travis. This lake is absolutely stunning! Just beautiful! If swimsuits don't suit you... there's a beach here that probably will. Nothing like going swimming in the nude. :(


This actually looked a lot cooler in person...











We didn't think to bring swimming suits, so Chad and Nic made the most of what they had. Nice thighs, ya'll!!!



Donna and I gathered seashells along the shore line. Donna is such a cute and thoughtful mommy! She wanted to get these for her little girls so I decided to help. It was incredible to see how tiny some of them are! Heavenly Father is in the details.




There was a HUGE biker group at the restaurant at Lake Travis. I asked one of them what the big ride was for (charity, fundraising, etc. etc.). Apparently it was just for fun! Hundreds of bikers, and their amazing custom bikes! Nic's a motorcycle man and he was droooooooling all over the place!







We stayed at a cute little Bed and Breakfast while we were out there. It was on a working-farm. It was really fun!




And to finish off the trip, we HAD to tour the famous Blue Bell Ice Cream Factory! Mmm, their ice cream is so creamy, so delightful! Keana looked so cute in her awesome hat! Nic and I had hats too... but we forgot to take a pic of us looking so stylish.