I just don't know

It seems as though these last couple of weeks have been so hard for me. Is it just me or does it feel like there is unhappiness, anger, sorrow, and grief everywhere? It's been surrounding me continually for the last little while. It's been very hard for me. The passing of sweet Gracie Gledhill has truly broken my heart. I hadn't ever met her, but she is special. I just found out another of our sweet heart friends passed away yesterday. She was also born yesterday. Her name is Avery. My heart goes out to her family. I can't imagine the pain of entering the hospital to have a baby, knowing that she has CHD but hoping things will work out... and then to lose her. I can't imagine the sorrow this family is feeling knowing that they will never get to bring their baby "home", knowing that they will be discharged without their little angel, permanently.

It's been hard for me to know that the world continues forward, regardless of these great loses. It is hard for me to know a sweet baby has been lost, yet the person outside, doing their daily running, has no idea. I don't blame them. It just makes me sad.

Mercydez has caught something. I don't know what... but it's been hard for her. I am just praying, praying, praying. I don't know what to think. I don't dare to think anything. I thought she was improving, but last night was horrible. Nic has taken the day off to be at home so that I could sleep. I'm just afraid. I don't like to admit it. I don't like to think about it. Maybe this will pass. Hopefully this will pass.