I'm giving you fair warning. I'm MORE than angry right now. I can't even explain how I feel. My heart just wants to burst into a thousand pieces. I don't normally put my feelings, my deepest feelings, out to the world... but I can't just keep quiet. I'm too angry.
One thing I am continually amazed at are peoples extremely ignorant and often times excruciatingly painful comments. Let me share a couple of "thoughtful" comments, from this past week alone...
Comment:
"Oh, I'd LOVE to trade places with you. I'd LOVE to just sit at home all day."
My Argument:
First off, this person who made this comment is a moron. Second off, I don't JUST sit home all day. AND if I did, it's none of her business. If that's how I deal with my grief, then it's PERFECTLY FINE with me to "JUST SIT". Everyone deals with grief differently. And, some cope by "just sitting". If that's a coping strategy, then give people their space. Give me a break. And, who says something like that?
Comment:
"I intentionally kept myself away. I didn't want to form a bond with Mercydez because I knew she was going to die. I didn't want to hurt."
My Argument:
Yeah, well, unfortunately, this is the attitude of way too many selfish, ignorant, hellish people. I've HAD it. JUST BECAUSE A PERSON IS DIFFERENT DOESN'T MAKE THEM LESS QUALIFIED TO BE LOVED: YOUNG, OLD, HEALTHY, SICK, BLACK, WHITE, THOSE WHO HAVE ABILITIES, THOSE WHO HAVE "DIS"ABILITIES. Get over yourself. I can't believe how rude and self-centered that attitude is. To be honest, I can't tolerate this attitude. It makes me want to EXPLODE into a million pieces. You know the scripture that talks about how in the last days, mens hearts will fail them? Bingo. And to this person... and those who have this attitude, YOU are the ones who are undeserving of my perfect angel's love. She is much better than I, because she'll probably love you anyway. I, however, am not perfect like my baby girl.
My momma bear is out.
I wish it didn't hurt so bad. I wish I could just "let go" of comments like this. I can't though. This is my "disability". I'm so angry.
I'm so grateful to those who, so selflessly, so kindly, so genuinely loved my little girl. It means more than words can explain. Knowing there are those who have TRULY loved my angel has given me indescribable strength. It's what helps me get through these horrible, horrible words.
Guys' Trip
5 years ago
15 comments:
I'm so sorry you have to deal with people who don't think twice about the words coming out of their mouths. I'm sorry you are hurting.. and wish there was something I could say to help ease your pain but I know there is not. Please just know that I think of you and your precious baby often.
I can't believe people don't think before they speak. I'm so sorry! Know that we love you and we are grateful for everything you've done for our family!
I am so sorry! I wish so badly I could have met your little angel, whether it hurt me or not. The special feeling that she sends just through pictures I can't imagine what it would have felt like to be in her presence.
She is very special and deserves all the morning her Mom and Dad need, so if it is sitting around the house all day, go for it!
I am so sorry! I really HATE the things people say sometimes. Some people are just morons! I am sorry you are hurting and have to deal with this. It sucks. I hope you have a good Mothers Day and feel your sweet angel close by. You are an amazing mom, and I am sorry she is not here with you. Thanks for sharing your feelings, it makes those of us going through similar things feel not so crazy. :)
I am so sorry you have to deal with the yucky comments. I wish no one said things that hurt, but they do. It is perfectly fine to be angry and mad. Unfortunatly, things like that are said and will continue to be. It sure is hard when it brings up so many hard feelings. Ashley, I am hear to listen and cry with you whenever. Know this is not a hollow offer, I truely mean it.
Also, I'm thinking about you especially today as it is so so so so stinkin' hard to not have your girl to celebrate your motherhood with you. I wish I could make all the pain go away!!
Your friend,
Melissa
I'm so sorry about all the comments. You've probably heard a lot of whoppers. The one about not wanting to get close to Mercy is ridiculous. Everyone is going to die, so are you not going to get close to anyone??? Completely crazy.
People can be complete idiots, but I always have to remind myself how many great people there are out there too. Luckily there are lots of great ones to outweigh the not so great!
You're amazing, and such a great example to me and my family! Remember that when you hear another whopper!
Wow, even if that was someone's way of avoiding the pain, to not get close because they assumed she was going to die, who in their right mind says that? I too am sorry that on top of the pain you have already have to suffer, you get to have conitinous jabs from such insensitivity.
~C
I know this is a family friendly blog so parents cover your childrens eyes -- Ashley my love --Mean people SUCK!!! Please know that if you need to yell, scream, cry, hide out in a basement, throw things and listen to them break(I have dishes just for this), come on over. We will eat Ben and Jerry's and figure out how people who seem so kind and fuzzy on the outside are so ick on the inside (like a cadbury egg not so good). Know that there are people out here that do understand and are here to support you but maybe like me are unsure how and don't want to intrude. I'm big on giving people space :). Please let me know what I can do. Many many prayers from my house to Gods ears, Ang and Family
GOOD FOR YOU! LET IT OUT! People who have never suffered this loss don't have a clue as to what a miracle it really is. And just becuase it is all a miracle, doesn't make it easy. Do what ever you have to do to mourn and get it out...I am 1 1/2 years past the loss of my own angel and I still get angry at the stupidity of comments of some people. It never goes away, it gets easier!!
Oh, Ashley, I'm so sorry. People are SOooooo ignorant sometimes. SOOOO thoughtless! I've gotten this comment MORE than once: "Well, look at it this way. Justin wanted one more baby, you wanted two more. You both kind of got your way!" SERIOUSLY? What is wrong with people?
I, for one, am very sad that I never got to meet your little princess in person this time around and I greatly look forward to the time when I can. I feel sorry for those who had the opportunity and didn't even recognize the blessing that would come into their life by their association with her.
I'm sorry Ashley! I just about sat and ran my mouth about the ignorant and selfish people..I guess you can call me a little protective. *breathe* You are allowed to cope however you please...nothing is wrong with that. Sit. It's okay, and you shouldn't have to justify it! Let me just say, that they missed out on meeting a sweet, beautiful, Angel.....their loss. They absolutely did miss out on the blessing of having an association with her!
Continually in our prayers,
Jen
STUPID PEOPLE agree with u on the disabilites and everything so what if we have charge if we r gonna die live black white purbple blue we are human and we want people to treat us like that well i as a disabled or in other words a person with charge do so keep up the fight for people like me mercy and others
Go get 'em girl! I had family that actually told me that they thought I WANTED them to stay away, so they didnt get Thatch sick, give me a break....seriously, have they NEVER had adversity in their life? Ignorance, thats all, ignorance....you , fortunately, can now be there for those people that do not understand that kind of comfort. I know we dont know each other well, but I think you are amazing! Keep up the spirit!
those comments r stupid people who say get over it r stupidu cant get over at least nto straight away one day it may feel less than it does now but that doesnt mean ur over it love u hugs
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