A Tribute to My Daughter

What do you write to a daughter who has been through so much? What do you write to a daughter who has experienced the very thing mothers everywhere fear? How do you express to her your love and admiration in such a way that it will touch her heart? How do you let her know she means the world to you and that you wish you could take her pain away so she wouldn’t have to hurt so much? I wish I knew how to do that, because that is exactly what I would do.

I sat down last night to write a letter of tribute to you, but words seem to be failing me. You, my dear, are a jewel. No wonder Heavenly Father entrusted you with one of his very elect daughters. He knew you would do whatever it took to give her the very best. I look at you and think of how well you took care of Mercydez and my heart wants to burst. Today as I was thinking about the past 16 ½ months and all the joy and sorrow that came with it, my heart was full of gratitude for having had your sweet family in our lives. I think about Mercydez, remembering her cute little expressions, her sweet little scrunched up face and cute moon-shaped eyes when she would cry and how we would look at her, comforting her of course, and chuckle because even in her frustration she was so adorable. I think about how she would do her sweet little tongue wag when she was comfortable and at peace. I think of how she would start out slow before working up to a full-blown howl, starting with her breathing pattern changing, giving you the first inkling that there was more to come. And then it would change into a whimper of sorts and shortly thereafter, she really shared her opinion on how things were going. I think about how quickly she would change from doing her cute tongue wag to a full-on cry because her diaper was poopy. I think about her holding on tight to our fingers, or letting us kiss her sweet little hands, or wanting to just gobble her up, kissing her all over her beautiful little face and hardly being able to stop, and finally stopping because she had had enough!

And every time I think about Mercydez and all the joy she brought with her, I have to think of you, dear daughter. And I think about all the days you spent at the hospital by her side, making sure she received the best care possible, and if something wasn’t up to snuff, insisting that it quickly become so. I think about your life quickly changing from doing whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, to being devoted to the little girl Heavenly Father had seen fit to grace your family. I think about the love and concern you had for her well being, the desire to make her life as full as it could possibly be – wanting her to be able to “experience” all that she could. I think about how every day you got up in the morning to start the routine over again – feeding Mercydez, giving her meds, cleaning her little eyes, putting eye ointment in her eyes, reading to her from the Children’s Friend, reading the scriptures to her, learning sign language in anticipation of communicating with her more, feeding her again, giving meds to her again, changing her diapers, bathing her, feeding her again, tracking her feedings and meds, offering comfort to others, always reaching out to those in need, feeding her again, and never once did I ever hear you complain of the difficulties. The only things I heard you express were the love and concern you felt for her. That, my dear, is a true mother. You have often posted how you admire me and want to be like me. The truth of it is, I admire you and so want to be like you. You are the mother I have always wanted to be. And I am pleased (Aunt Dorothy’s reminder) to call you my daughter.

Thank you for sharing sweet Mercydez. I love you. Happy Mother’s Day.

Love,
Mom